Monday, March 16, 2026

Bayouside Saturdays

 

Those days drift back to me like tidewater,
slow and sure, carrying the smell of the bayou, salt, and sun.
My brother and I, usually barefoot on the bayou side,
spent half our childhood on weathered wharves,
lines in the water, time on our hands,
And the whole wide world waiting for us to grow up.
We learned patience from my father,
a man who could fish longer than daylight itself,
quiet as the herons watching from the reeds.
He taught us that stillness has its own kind of wisdom,
that a tug on the line is worth every hour of waiting.
Crabbing in the gulf-fed canals felt like treasure hunting,
leaning over the edge, pulling up the strings,
laughing when one stubborn crab tried to make a run for it.
And when we finally headed home, sunburned and exhausted,
There was the ritual of cleaning the catch,
scales flashing like tiny mirrors in the fading light.
Then came the aroma I can still smell today,
fish frying in the kitchen, french fries crackling in the pan,
a smell that could make a king jealous.
We ate like we’d earned it, because we had.
I remember the thrill of a new Zebco rod and reel,
a gift that felt like a doorway to the whole world.
And the stupidity (my own)
of forgetting to rinse the salt water from the reel,
only to find it stiff and stubborn the next time out.
Lessons learned the hard way tend to stick.
But nothing, nothing,
beats the early Saturday morning trips to the Gulf,
the sky still deciding what color it wanted to be,
the world quiet except for our footsteps in the wet sand,
and then that sunrise,
breaking open the day like a promise.
Those were the hours that shaped me,
The Saturdays that made themselves
into the person I became.
And even now, when the world feels too fast,
I can close my eyes and hear the water,
feel the old wharf beneath my feet, see my brother,
and know that some parts of us
never drift away.

wcd

Sunday, March 15, 2026

I Don’t Cry Out Loud Anymore

I don’t cry out loud anymore.

Some hurts are easier to carry in silence,

where no one can twist them into a joke.

I don’t tell people I hurt. I shared my soul with someone once and was told to just suck it up. Another said, you can’t be weak—what will that do to me? As if my pain was an inconvenience, as if my honesty was something to be ashamed of.

I opened myself to a church friend once, laid out the deepest parts of me, and the ridicule that followed broke something I’ve never quite repaired.

I’m older now, and wiser in the ways that come from scars. Most things don’t matter the way they used to. The world keeps moving, and I’ve learned to move with it quietly.

I’d rather sit alone with my thoughts than risk being laughed at for feeling anything at all. Solitude may be heavy, but it’s a weight I can hold without flinching.

I don’t share my plans anymore either. People can’t ruin what they never know. Some things are safer kept close— my hopes, my hurts, my next steps— all tucked away where no careless voice can bruise them.

So I live quietly now, guarded but not bitter, strong in the places no one sees, and at peace with the truth that my heart is safest in my own hands.


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